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My blog
Happy Halloween, Merry Christmas, Happy new year, Happy Australia Day and HELLO! I’m sorry I’ve been inactive the past month or two. I’ve been really focused on creating some video content for you and I will have more up soon once my phone starts working a bit better. Today, and by today I mean 2 weeks ago because it will take me that long to finally finish this blog haha, I wanted to share my thoughts with you and as per usual I know what you’re thinking... what exactly are you doing at this very moment? Glad you asked. Appropriately so, I’m eating a reheated double cheese burger from an incorrectly delivered Uber eats order. With a large lemonade and dash of vodka! Hahaha. All whilst listening to, the golden globe winning, theme song from The Greatest Showman, “This is me” by Keala Settle! #SheIsMySpiritAnimal #Life The reason I’m writing you this is because, despite what I’m currently eating, I’ve began a goal focused weight loss journey this year. My two goals are to be 99 kilos or less and to do ONE SINGLE body pull up. Now why 99 or less? Excellent question, because the last time I weighed that much I was about 15-16 years old and I know this because I watched myself go over 100 kilos. LITERALLY! See at this point in my life I not only hated myself but apparently a majority of my school seemed to as well, so I was bullied... A LOT! This caused, what I guess now the only correct term to use would be, an eating diorder. I was eating raw sugar. No not actual “RAW” sugar like unrefined. I mean white plain sugar straight from a cup “RAW” (sometimes the bag). I don’t remember the specific day or what I was wearing but I do remember eating lots and lots of sugar then standing on the scales, crying, eating and watching that pathetic little number hit 100. Nearly 10 years on and the closest I’ve been to that weight again was 111kg back in 2015. In 3 years I’ve gained another 30kgs, give or take a kilo, so I decided it was time to really... AND I MEAN REALLY change things! Okay okay so that isn’t my exact point of this blog, of course you knew that. Well it just so happen I came across, ever so casually, an Instagram, or two, of some of the people I not only went to high school with, but who also bullied me quite a lot. The funny part of this is that I was always teased for being a overweight. “Fat”, “Fat Pig”, “Fat Slut”, “Whale”, to name a few. Yet these people, both guys I should add, are visibily larger than I am right now. Yet they used to make me feel like I was so huge and that i was disgusting and appalling. Now I came across, not to long ago, some pictures of myself back when I was around 16 years old (I’ll include them at the bottom) I was around 100-105 kilos and roughly a size 16, occasionally a 14 - Australian sizing by the way. When I saw these pictures I immediately remembered how I felt, which was fat, ugly, disgusting, unloved and unwanted. I would look at all the pretty girls at school, some who I surpringly became friends with. They were always skinny, pretty, cool and of course popular. THOSE girls who EVERYONE knew and loved. Compared to them I looked disgusting. Well that’s how I felt anyway. #DuffLife The strange thing, is that I just couldn’t love myself then, but I love myself now and this is where we get to the real point of the blog. Self love is SOOOOO important in life and it definitely does not come from being skinny, having perky boobs or abs, wearing makeup or expensive clothing. It doesn’t even come from being “confident” because confidences is the outcome of self love. Self love comes from knowing who you are, knowing that you are far from perfect but you always strive to be better, it comes from accepting all your flaws and embracing your differences. Now before you think that I’m trying to say, when you love yourself you don’t want to change. “Aimee if you want to lose the weight then you clearly don’t love yourself” I’ll stop you right there. Let me just leave you with this... When I was a teenager, I didn’t love myself and I didn’t think anyone loved me either or that I deserved to be loved. Therefore I did not take care of myself but I’ve grown, I’ve matured and I’ve had my eyes opened to see that I am loved, I am worthy of love and I have even grown to love myself in this process. I’m not saying it’s easy, Hell i still fuck up and I will definitely make mistakes, binge on junk food and be lazy. We all go through it... but it is because I have self love, the love of others and the support system I need, that I started to change things about my life. I cleansed my mind and soul through therapy and throwing old things I had no need for, I cleansed my physical world of toxic people, those who do not care or have agendas and now it’s time to cleanse my physical being, by treating my vessel with more love and kindness as I try to do to others. Just remember... you are worthy of the beauty life beholds, just make sure you open your eyes and your heart to it! My love Aimee Lee Ps: it took my like two weeks to post hahaha It’s amazing how differently we see ourselves through self love! Me at 16 years old, almost 10 years ago!Me at age 23 - 24 years old, Currently!
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