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My blog
Why am I writing a blog at 2am? Well I don't know but something hit me at some point in my restless sleep. Friendship was the word that kept popping into my head! I consider myself blessed that I have such an amazing and beautiful group of friends who I truly love and care about and I know they love and care about me. But this is the first time in my life that I've had an actual real support network and actual friends that weren't "school" friends or those friends you only talk to just to remain in contact. These people in my life actually talk to me and visit me and we hang out all the time! Friendship is by far the one thing I struggle most with though because I have a tendency to try to hard and hold on to long. I was once told an important lesson that I now take with me in life and I want to share with you, that is people will come into your life all the time and some will leave, some will stay. Just like you can't make someone love you, you can't make someone want to be your friend or stay your friend if they, in their own mind, don't want to stay. The past few years I have lost a handful of incredible beautiful people from my life, I have absolutely no idea as to why because in each friendship there was never any really specific moments that I could pinpoint to where I made a mistake to make them want to not be my friend. I had a friend who I spoke to daily and extensively, we had a deep connection and I considered her more a sister than a friend but one day she said she needed a "break" from social contact to focus on herself and after that I never heard from her (except 1 time I tried calling and she happened to pick up and we said our hellos and that's it). Another friend I lost due to the fact we fell out of contact, it was neither of our faults we just happened to be leading very different lives in very different places and although I miss her dearly I still wish I knew how to truely fix that friendship. Yet another example is a friend who I truly considered one of the greatest friends I had ever had but unfortunately this person at some stage decided that I was no longer "worthy" to be in their life and felt the need to create excuses or scenarios that ultimately pushed me right out of their lives. More recently I have lost more people due to many other reasons but I want to explain something to you. These people came into my life, we laughed, we explored, we created memories together and each of them taught me a lesson. If not to be more honest or to be kinder or to simply not be so protective of my self, it was at the very least that not everyone will stay. Thats the sad reality is that the people you have around you right now, chances that you will be friends with the same people in 10 years are very slim! They say the people you meet are either a "lesson or a blessing" and I think that isn't completely accurate, I think anyone that teaches you a lesson was in fact a blessing and anyone who is a blessing to your life will always teach you something. But you have to understand that holding onto someone who is only walking away will tear you apart from the inside out... If you have ever held shopping bags full of groceries and had to walk home, at first you think to yourself "I can totally do this, it isn't that bad" and after a couple minutes you start feeling the pain and you think "my hands are starting to hurt a little but it will be worth it when I get home" and after 5 or 10 minutes you get so exaushsted and your hands are so sore that you give up, put the bags on the ground or the bench and think "oh my god why did I keep going why did I hold them the whole time? My hands are so red and I'm so tired" it's the same with people, you try hold on. After a week or two you think "ok things will get better now, we will go back to where we were" and after a month of two you think "I really miss them but I'm sure it will go back to how it was soon it can't be to much longer" and then after several months maybe a year you eventually say "I guess they are gone for real, what did I do wrong? What could I have done to make them stay?" And you end up feeling miserable because you still miss them even though something inside of you is relieved that you have finally given up and that part of you is also wondering what took so long! It hurts, you sometimes feel like you've lost a piece of yourself but one thing I have learnt more so this year than ever before... If you let go of the things that make you miserable it leaves you more room for the things that make you happy. I did and now I have a group of the most beautiful, genuinely amazing people to call not only my friend but my family. I love them and I couldn't ask for better friends! CLICK THE PICTURE FOR A SPECIAL SURPRISE!!!!!
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Normally you would find these links at the bottom, but they are the most important part of this post Please click the links below to find out more on mental illness, where to get help & how to cope! BEYOND BLUE ORGANISTION OR call them on 1300 22 4636 R U OK? ORGANISATION KIDS HELP LINE OR call them on 1800 55 1800 LIFE LINE OR call them on 13 11 14 SUICIDE CALL BACK SERVICE or call them on 1300 659 467 Lets talk about this because it isn't talked about enough... Depression, Anxiety and the other numerous amounts of mental illness ARE REAL! Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. In Australia alone, it's estimated that 45 % of people will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime.In any one year, around 1 million Australian adults have depression, and over 2 million have anxiety. Lets put some numbers to that: Depression affects, 1 in 6 people - 1 in 5 women and 1 in 8 men Anxiety affects, 1 in 4 people – 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men Suicide; eight Australians take their own lives every day that is 1 person every 3 hours! Unfortunately for a lot of us, mental illness was never even talked about growing up. It has only been in the last 5 years that mental illness has really come out of the dark and people are starting to open up about their own struggles whilst inspiring others to do the same. Slowly but surely the mental health stigma is fading but there is much work needed to eradicate it. We all feel sad sometimes, we all worry and we all have our bad days... But mental illness is far more than that. It is much like a ghost or a demon that you can not only NOT see but it follows you everywhere because it sits in your mind and plays on it all day. It is an inexplicable darkness that to the person suffering, is impossible to explain. The most unfortunate thing is that mental illness has been sewn to those who suffer as a label, "Oh don't worry she is just depressed again" "Forget about him he is just crazy..." and this leads people with mental illness to not only feel worse about themselves and start doubting themselves but pushes them to further act unlike themselves by engaging in dangerous behaviours such as drinking, drugs and thrill seeking behaviours in an attempt to do one of two things, stop feeling the pain or to feel something other than pain. They want to mask the hurt, numb the feeling or perhaps the genuinely want to put themselves in as much danger as possible in the hopes they will be so badly injured that they wont have to take their own life. Adding to the stigma of mental illness is the lack of education in regards to the help available. Believe me I understand that sometimes you just cant tell your mum or dad, or chat with your best friend or partner, you cant confide in anyone some days. But sometimes speaking to a stranger works better than someone you know, particularly professionals. I know it sounds daunting, it sounds scary or maybe just useless. But being someone who has gone through this, gotten help and come out the other end with a much clearer mind and the tools to fight the battle and win the war... IT HELPS!!!! If you EVER feel... ALONE, TIRED, SCARED, WORTHLESS, EMPTY, DARK, OVER LIFE, I want you to know that you are NEVER alone. That I promise you. My email, phone, Facebook, Instagram, twitter, snapchat and website is always available for anyone who needs to talk things out head to my CONTACTS PAGE for details and links. ONE LAST THING... R U OK? Stay strong, I love you xx |
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October 2017
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