My Blog
An insight into my everyday crazy life!
My blog
Normally you would find these links at the bottom, but they are the most important part of this post Please click the links below to find out more on mental illness, where to get help & how to cope! BEYOND BLUE ORGANISTION OR call them on 1300 22 4636 R U OK? ORGANISATION KIDS HELP LINE OR call them on 1800 55 1800 LIFE LINE OR call them on 13 11 14 SUICIDE CALL BACK SERVICE or call them on 1300 659 467 Lets talk about this because it isn't talked about enough... Depression, Anxiety and the other numerous amounts of mental illness ARE REAL! Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. In Australia alone, it's estimated that 45 % of people will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime.In any one year, around 1 million Australian adults have depression, and over 2 million have anxiety. Lets put some numbers to that: Depression affects, 1 in 6 people - 1 in 5 women and 1 in 8 men Anxiety affects, 1 in 4 people – 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men Suicide; eight Australians take their own lives every day that is 1 person every 3 hours! Unfortunately for a lot of us, mental illness was never even talked about growing up. It has only been in the last 5 years that mental illness has really come out of the dark and people are starting to open up about their own struggles whilst inspiring others to do the same. Slowly but surely the mental health stigma is fading but there is much work needed to eradicate it. We all feel sad sometimes, we all worry and we all have our bad days... But mental illness is far more than that. It is much like a ghost or a demon that you can not only NOT see but it follows you everywhere because it sits in your mind and plays on it all day. It is an inexplicable darkness that to the person suffering, is impossible to explain. The most unfortunate thing is that mental illness has been sewn to those who suffer as a label, "Oh don't worry she is just depressed again" "Forget about him he is just crazy..." and this leads people with mental illness to not only feel worse about themselves and start doubting themselves but pushes them to further act unlike themselves by engaging in dangerous behaviours such as drinking, drugs and thrill seeking behaviours in an attempt to do one of two things, stop feeling the pain or to feel something other than pain. They want to mask the hurt, numb the feeling or perhaps the genuinely want to put themselves in as much danger as possible in the hopes they will be so badly injured that they wont have to take their own life. Adding to the stigma of mental illness is the lack of education in regards to the help available. Believe me I understand that sometimes you just cant tell your mum or dad, or chat with your best friend or partner, you cant confide in anyone some days. But sometimes speaking to a stranger works better than someone you know, particularly professionals. I know it sounds daunting, it sounds scary or maybe just useless. But being someone who has gone through this, gotten help and come out the other end with a much clearer mind and the tools to fight the battle and win the war... IT HELPS!!!! If you EVER feel... ALONE, TIRED, SCARED, WORTHLESS, EMPTY, DARK, OVER LIFE, I want you to know that you are NEVER alone. That I promise you. My email, phone, Facebook, Instagram, twitter, snapchat and website is always available for anyone who needs to talk things out head to my CONTACTS PAGE for details and links. ONE LAST THING... R U OK? Stay strong, I love you xx
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We are our own worst enemy! No single voice will cut our souls deeper than our own, we bring ourselves down more than anyone else does. I felt obligated to write this for my own sanity because in some way telling myself "I CAN" doesn't cut it as an adult. Writing it down does though. I'm sitting here in my room and I should probably be going to bed right now because I have uni in the morning, but that's half the problem! I am working on my assignment and even though I should be working on it, I just ended up pushing myself into the mindset that I'm to stupid for this and I'm really not "Uni" material. Maybe I'm not... But that won't stop me! Im continually telling myself that I "CANT" do it, as much as I would like to believe in myself more and know that I can, everything points to a different outcome. I'm 23, unemployed and haven't had a job longer than about 12 months, I dropped out and didn't complete high school and I haven't really been in any school environment for about 5 years. Most of my family haven't really done much with their life thus far, except have children and had a never ending spin of short lived careers, Some didn't finish schooling either. So I'm constantly telling myself I'm destined to be like that. THATS NOT WHAT I WANT!!! I moved to WA, determined to do better and be better and have better, simply better! I specifically promised myself I wouldn't go backwards only forwards and I really have stuck to that so far. I tell myself I won't end up like the expectations of me, I keep telling myself these things but sometimes they just don't cut it. I also have to remind myself of all the amazing things I have accomplished in my life so far, I've travelled, I've met so many amazing people, heard incredible stories, I have conquered fears (no not my bird fear haha) I have grown as a person and above all else I left everything I knew, everyone I knew including the person I thought I was, behind in Melbourne and started completely fresh here in Perth with a clean slate! To be able to pick up my stuff and walk away from one life and start a new one is damn amazing in itself and if I can do that with ease then what's stopping me from doing this? I get it, it's hard sometimes but I try and remind myself "Anything that comes easy is not worth having and Something worth having won't come easy!" So I will always continue to push through because despite where I may end up in life, as long as I try my hardest... Well like mum used to say "no one can ask anymore of you" Stay strong xoxo "As long as you try your hardest, no one can ask anymore of you!" I'm back!!!! Today I just want to share a few things with you, this past few weeks have been tough for me, to say the least! I starter university (EXCITING), I experienced heartache and sadness to an extent I haven't felt in quite some time, I have formed stronger friendships with people who I was not as close to before hand, I have also made new friends. I have started planning my holiday at the end of the year to go see my beautiful cousins who I haven't seen in over 4 years, I have had to "ADULT" a lot lately haha! I have resumed my soul searching in the sense of figuring out exactly what path I will be taking next year at university, as I am surely going to continue to do within myself for some time! I have also asked countless questions and found myself dumb founded at my ability to comprehend some peoples behaviours, even though learning to have tolerance for those who don't seem to possess any may be difficult, I am trying! But as I sit here in the university computer lab at ECU and the sun climbs higher into the sky as the day slowly passes by, let me tell you what I'm doing and why on earth you would actually care... (I just uploaded my latest interview) I have music playing on PANDORA and I'm just thinking about life in general, I randomly smiled a little as I stared out of the window and the more I thought about why I was smiling the more I smiled. You're probably asking right why am I smiling? Because at this very moment I am unbelievably happy! It's these increasingly occurring moments when even for a few minutes I am whole heartedly happy, that remind me that I have purpose and I have reason for life. Because as you may or may not know, for a very long time I felt like I had none, but something inside of me stubbornly pushed through continually hoping for a day like this! Waiting for a moment where I'd be so happy with life that I would cry a few tears of joy because I was just that happy and being an emotional sort of person that's generally what happens with me! You know those cliché moments in movies where the main character, after struggles throughout the movie, somehow escape their demons and are driving into the sunset looking free and happy? Yeah it feels something like that I guess haha Something about horizon picturesque scenes that make me feel so good, sunsets, sunrises, city skylines, always provide feel good moments. Random thought, I wonder where I will be in 5 years time, will I have the same friends? Will I still be studying? Will I be travelling? Will I have someone special, maybe a kid/s? Well... Maybe, Maybe not, who knows? But the fact I can now ask myself these questions and ask myself "What If?" and instead of seeing nothing, I see endless possibilities... Well THAT makes me smile, THAT makes me happy! Stay beautiful, stay strong and don't be afraid to break and fall sometime because... sometimes falling is the best thing, then you have nowhere but up! For years I have suffered with depression and anxiety, the mental illness stigma is very real and it really comes down to education, many people just don't know.
Last year was by far the worst in regards to my mental health. I was having anxiety attacks at work to the point I had to go home and for someone who despises crying in front of people I sure broke down in front of a lot of people but I also hid it away from the people I cared about most, my friends. Nobody thinks of starting a friendship off like "hey my name is Aimee and I suffer from depression and anxiety, some days I'll want to crawl into bed and die, other days I'll be super happy good luck with that and nice to meet you!" So I just didn't tell them but I also couldn't hide it forever. About a year ago I started seeing a counsellor, when I started my levels were that of someone in severe distress, not only was a suicidal but I was making it far worse by trying to brave it in front of the people who mattered most to me. I did my best to open up about what I was going through and thankfully for the most power they were very understanding! As the months progressed I learnt techniques to handle stress and I worked on ways to control my emotion, all the while I was also working on the issues I had! I began learning more about who I really was and in doing so I started finding purpose in life, I was slowly rebuilding my life in every aspect. See I was working in a dead end job that I hated, I felt like a failure, I had a few friends and didn't know many people at all, I was distant in life and I was not happy at all. Then all of a sudden things took a turn for the worse in January which turned out to be the best thing to happen to me. I lost my job and my friendship with the person I was living with fell to pieces, you'd think that sounds terrible right? But to be honest it made me happy in a way because everything that was making me miserable, causing me pain and or stressing me out all started to fall apart. In February of this year I moved in with my best friend and EVERYTHING changed!!! I started enjoying life because I was living it the way I WANTED, I didn't have people telling me what to do, I didn't have a job to worry about, I didn't feel constant guilt for wanting things for myself and I didn't fear being myself anymore, I had people who really loved and cared about me and they were so supportive. With the things I had been learning in my sessions and my new found purpose I started falling in love with life. I started busking, because I love singing, I started visiting places I hadn't been and experiencing new and fun things. My days were easy and stressless because I had no responsibilities to worry about, my day basically consisted of going to the city, seeing my friends and going home, that was really it!. This is were the rebuilding really began. I obviously couldn't remain in that state of mind otherwise next time something changed in my life i'd crumble, so slowly but surely I started adding things into my days, I busked regularly, I applied for some jobs and even did baby sitting in between, and with my best friend sandrinas help I applied for university in May. See I had always wanted to go to uni but I guess in my state of mind I never felt I was worthy or smart enough to go so I just put it off! Fast forward a few months and I've just started my uni prep course so I can get into journalism next year. Looking back, me 6-12 months ago would have just not bothered applying, I would have made an excuse up and forgotten about it or not bothered to look into how to apply etc. I have amazing friends who honestly support me in everything I do and that just makes me love life so much more knowing the people I'm surrounded, by accept me for everything I am, all my faults and imperfections to. I finally accept myself and know who I am (as much as I can at least) there is always room for improvement but I'm happy! I want you to remember that you are NEVER ALONE no matter what you will always have someone there for you! Stay beautiful xx I know I've been somewhat excessive on Facebook recently, I've been highly motivated with my writing and decided to start posting more news rather than just my blogs, that way in being interactive and more active online. Im taking the time to write this piece with my sincerest and deepest sympathy to the people of Orlando after what had been just a horrendously unforgettable week and if you haven't been watching the news, reading Facebook articles or scrolling through you're Twitter feeds then perhaps you have missed a few things so let me give you the run down. Firstly June 11th, singing sensation Christina grimmie was performing alongside "before you exit" at the plaza, in Orlando and after which she did a free meet and greet / signing. After greeting fans, taking photos, talking, laughing and nothing but a warm atmosphere, a deranged fan by the name of "Kevin James Loibl" had walked up to Christina who greeted him with open arms according to reports, only for him to shoot her, three times! Christina was taken to Orlando regional medical centre in a critical condition and passed away early the following day as a result of the gun shot wounds. Christina was just 22 years old when she was killed. i have been watching her since she was 15 back in 2009 and when I read what happened my heart truly broke. It was confirmed that loibl intended on a mass shooting, he had two guns and a knife and reportedly had been planning on killing many more people, thanks to christina's older brother Marcus Grimmie's heroic actions, tackling loibl to the ground that saved many lives and he is being dubbed a hero for his brave and courageous action in the midst of what must have been a traumatic experience. My heart goes out to her family, friends and obviously the fans, she will be truly missed! Only days later a crazed gunman identified as 29 year old Omar Mateen entered popular Orlando gay nightclub and opened fire, in what has been recorded as the deadliest shooting in American history. There was believed to be around 350 people in the nightclub at the time. 50 people were killed (including the gunman) and a further 50+ people were injured in this tragic and fatal attack! Unfortunately to add to the disasters and trauma, it was also reported a 2 year old little boy, lane graves' was snatched by an alligator and dragged into a lagoon near the Walt Disney world hotel. An O.C. dive team found the young boys body not far from where it was reported he was grabbed! Its been a traumatic and sad week for the people of Orlando and my heart is truly with them as in sure most of the worlds is to. The amount of love and support from people across the world has been more than heart warming and I feel like events such as these just show how resilient and strong people are. That when in need, Humanity can come together and help one another. Because we know that at the end of the day we are one, we may be different but we are the same, we are human and that's all the label we need! Stay Beautiful xo "We are human and thats all the label we need!" Sitting here in my oversized hoodie and slippers, surrounded by an abundance of blankets and freezing finger tips as I write this glorious piece of literature for you all!
I got to thinking "I really need a nap!" No but in all seriousness today, although cold, was a lot of fun. I decided to busk in spite of the warned rainfall that was due to arrive around 1pm, I luckily missed every time it rained! I tried out a new song and everyone seemed to enjoy it. If you're every in Perth come say "HI" by the way! After busking I got some Krispy kremes, did some shopping and headed home. It's been a long and tiring week actually but I'm doing my best to keep on going and keep myself motivated! Myself and sandrina went out with some new friends, had a few drinks after a last minute change of plans. One minute we were at home in our Pajamas and next we were drinking and dancing the night away. Something I rarely do but was a lot of fun! We also had a small party last week with our friend chloe, we invited our new friends over and got a chance to meet chloes boyfriend Sam! Getting to know people for yourself is really important rather than relying on what you hear. But Jared, Kirsty, Harley and Sam where all a lot of fun to hang out with and definitely made the week more interesting! I'm also very excited to be starting university soon, ill be studying journalism at ECU, I'll definitely keep you all posted on that and I'll be blogging about open day as well. I am currently working on a song that I've been writing and I'm looking for someone who may be able to help put a melody to the lyrics, I'm excited to see how it turns out! Now I've also had a lot of people ask me how I've managed to get past the struggles of depression and anxiety, truth be told I haven't, but things like Uni and busking are what keeps me motivated and keeps me pushing and striving to be better. I'm very thankful to have a group of wonderful friends who support me in everything I do and most importantly who I am! When you find people like that, you must hold onto them because they will be the uplifters of your life, the ones who push you more than you realise. Safe to say I'm not keen for winter though, except the fashion. I prefer warm weather over cold! After this brief little update I'm going to go watch a movie and attempt to have an early night so I get some decent sleep haha :) Stay Beautiful xx So being the adventurous person I am I decided to present an idea to my best friend and housemate sandrina, that we should take one day a week to choose a random town or station along the train line, get off and visit a cafe or some place of culture just to change things up! I thought this would be a great idea to get out and experience more of what WA has to offer as well as getting out of the house even if I don't feel like doing anything. It means setting a solid plan and sticking to it and doing my best to enjoy moments in life more, rather than letting them pass me by. So sandrina had mentioned a very interesting "book cafe" in Swanbourne. But I'll get to that in a moment! On Friday myself and sandrina decided to take a trip into Fremantle for fun just to get out and about and sandrina also invited a friend of hers to tag along and join us which turned out great because she was really lovely company. •REVIEW• Not only was the service exceptional, but the food was exquisite! our waiter not only was very efficient but courteous enough to take a photo of the three of us. Our drinks came out which, although sandrina found hers a little strong, we all quite enjoyed, then shortly after our meals came out and thankfully we didn't have to wait long at all as we were all fairly hungry! I got the chicken parmigiana, the chicken was cooked perfectly, the chips were nice and crisp and the salad side was beautiful and fresh. All in all the meal was fantastic and the service was lovely. After our wonderful experience at sandrinos we ventured to the lively Fremantle markets and found ourself outside a ice tea stand called "ROO-TEA" the guys at the stall were very nice and gave us all samples of each of the 5 flavour that they had made up, there was strawberry, lemon myrtle, peach (hangover cure), a detox one and a watermelon one. They were so delicious that I couldn't help but take advantage of the great deal, 2 for $10 which included either 2 cups, 2 bottles or one of each! I got the peach one in a cup with mixed fruit and the strawberry in a bottle. For the amount of tea you get and the quality and taste, it's definitely worth it! If you're ever at the markets grab some, you can even get dry tea to boil and chill you're own unique flavours! Then on the Saturday, Myself, Sandrina and our dear friend Chloe visited the book cafe in Swanbourne. When we got there we learnt that unfortunately this cute and interesting cafe would soon be closed so we were glad to be able to check it out before it did! •REVIEW• We were able to order breakfast food and so myself and Chloe got pancakes and sandrina had the big breakfast. I thoroughly enjoyed my pancake stack with caramelised banana, blueberries and honey and Chloe enjoyed her Blueberry pancakes. Sandrina did enjoy the big breakfast except for the toast which was not quite enjoyable. The service was friendly and inviting and the food was quite nice, it all came out in a timely manner as well so we didn't have to wait long which is always a bonus! We also unfortunately missed out on checking out many books but all in all it was a fantastic little cafe and if you get a chance to pop down while its open then you definitely should. I can't wait to visit many more fun and interesting places around the Perth region and I will definitely be letting you all know where the hot spots are. Check out a few shots from the weekend and if you get a chance to check anything out please let me know what you think as well! Stay Beautiful xo 25th of April... ANZAC DAY!
Today is a day, not to mourn but to celebrate and remember the thousands upon thousands of men and women who not only sacrificed their lives for our future, but by doing so, their spirit lives on through the men and women today who are serving to protect us as their comrades before. ANZAC DAY is the solemn day of remembrance of the "Australian and New Zealand Army Corps" soldiers who fought and died at Gallipoli in 1915. But it is also a day of remembrance for all soldiers who have fought and died for their country! Australians recognise 25 April as a day of national remembrance, which takes two forms. Commemorative services which are held across the nation, at the many war memorials around the country, at dawn, the time of the original landing. While later in the day, former servicemen and servicewomen meet to take part in marches through the country’s major cities and in many smaller centres. Anzac Day has eclipsed rememberance day, in which we as a country stand still for 1 minute to reflect and remember those who have fought so gallantly to protect and serve their country. Many men and women use this beautiful yet haunting time to remember loved ones whilst others simply pay respect to the fallen brothers and sisters of our great country! The historical and well recognised "ODE TO REMEMBRANCE" is read at ceremonies across the nation. "They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning We will remember them." So today, whether you attended a service or you're just sitting back at home take a moment to remember and give thanks to those who so willingly laid down their lives so that we could live. LEST WE FORGET xoxo Its midnight... I am ever so charmingly laying in bed in my awesome batman onesie, doing what I do best at this crazy time of night, scrolling through Facebook and Instagram, swiping on tinder and opening snapchats! So why the sudden urge to blog about something so seemingly average? Well let me tell you a story first okay? Once upon a time there was a young girl in her room, much like myself, but instead of scrolling through news feeds and drooling over hotties on tinder, she was flipping magazine pages and drooling over the Jonas brothers, Mcfly and Jessie McCartney while watching Barbie Princess movies on VHS. She longed to be as elegant and graceful as Princess Barbie, she wanted to be as skinny and beautiful as tyra banks, Claudia schiffer and Kate moss, as fierce as Beyoncè and Christina Aguilera, sing like Vanessa amorosi, be as sexy and confident as Shania twain and have millions of dollars like Mariah! BUT... Unfortunately all she saw in the mirror was a short, fat, ugly, loser! She had never been skinny, she had never been "beautiful" she tripped, stumbled and stuttered around boys and had absolutely no idea just how incredible she really was. She was only ever told the things she wasn't, she was only ever told everything she is not! "ugly" "worthless" "useless" "loser" "stupid" Not once was she told all the things she was and deserved to know herself as! She looked through the photos, the movies and even around her real life and she just didn't feel like she belonged anywhere! It's funny to think about this little girl now days because she's gone... She doesn't exist anymore. I would tell you that little girl was me but i think I would be lying because if I saw her I don't think I would recognise her. Over the years I've done crazy things to try "fit in" or be "confident" and "sexy" but none of them worked, I always felt so left out and just unworthy of the life and the love I so hopelessly and desperately wanted. Until one day I did a very small thing for myself, I dyed my hair, just two small parts with colour and what happened was partially incredible and mostly unsurprising. I was bullied for it. Here I was, having finally decided to jump and do something for me and EVERYONE noticed! I mean, parents, friends and family, students and teachers... People actually SAW ME! But I had almost everyone coming at me telling me it was a mistake, saying I couldn't be at school with coloured hair, that it looked stupid etc. It was that moment I realised no matter how hard I tried there would always be someone who would never be able to truly accept me. So I said FUCK IT! I thought to myself "why should I try hard to please everyone else and make myself miserable if they aren't going to be happy anyway? Why not make myself happy if that's the case?" So I did! I dyed my hair, I wore makeup and straightened my hair, I wore what I wanted to, I said what I wanted and how I felt with no fear of the consequences. Although more confident in myself I wouldn't say I "loved" myself, But I was growing. I slowly stopped caring what everyone thought, my only regret was that I didn't do it sooner. Over the years I slowly grew to liking myself and being content with how I looked although I always had things I wished I could change (we all do) but I realised that if I were to say make my thighs smaller, I would have to shrink my tummy to and then of course my waist and then make my arms thinner or it would look weird and then make my face slimmer and feet smaller... With every little imperfection I wanted to change I would in turn have to change everything else that made me perfectly me. I began to love myself after that lesson learnt. So fucking what if I
But these facts are all apart of me and most of them are very superficial... Someday it may change, maybe it won't I don't know. What I do know though, is that
OF COURSE, MOST IMPORTANTLY...
For every flaw and for every single little thing that makes me imperfectly perfect! It certainly may not always feel like, especially when you compare yourself to the rest of the world, that you are beautiful! But let me give you some advice! Something i grew up telling everyone and never could do myself until recently. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY YOUR HAPPINESS IS ALL THAT MATTERS ❤️ #FuckTheHaters #LoveYourself #Beautiful #You With all my love Aimee Lee xoxo "Beauty comes from simply accepting that You are perfect as your are!" So let's take it back to when will released the first 3 shows of his tour, I really should have had more faith that he would do more shows because I had a bit of money saved up and then when I saw he wasn't going to come to Perth I ended up spending it. About a week later he released more dates and then the whole tour and go figure Perth was apart of the tour. So here's little old me, a little torn and disappointed that there was NO CHANCE I was getting my hands on a ticket as most of the other shows had sold out in under a week, some in a day! I didn't think there was a chance that i would even see him let alone get tickets. That didn't stop me from trying. Somehow I managed to rustle up $60 (for a VIP meet and greet ticket) but I didn't want to go alone, going with friends is more fun so I asked my best friend sandrina if she would like to come and so I ended up buying to general admission tickets and the date was set 18th March 2016! YAY! Now this was over 3 months in advance so it was a big countdown, about 90 days for memory. But it was still so exciting, after about a year and a half I was FINALLY seeing him again AND I got to be there for his first solo Perth show (sold out as well) and I can't even begin describing how happy that made me just knowing that in 3 short months I was getting to see him again. Now fast forward almost 3 months, the tickets all printed off and here I was messaging everyone I could think of to find out when he was landing and who he was flying with because I was considering going to the airport myself but also helping a few fans get the chance to see him as they couldn't go to the show. The next morning I left for the city, tickets ready and change of clothes (as if I was going home before the show haha) I was busking for a little bit before my friend came in to take over at about 3pm and if I had any hope of going to the airport I HAD to leave at 3:15 NO later! So split second last minute decision I raced to the station and met my friend Rhiannon (who was also coming to the show) and we got on the almost hour long bus ride to the airport, wills flight was due to land at 4 and we were meant to get there at 10 past, but I wasn't to worried because it takes time to get to the gate from the plane but then I realised it would also take us time to get there to, so I started panicking that we would miss it... Then I checked and his flight was running 15 minutes late so he landed when we got there and we raced from one end of the airport to the other end and found his gate. We sat down and had a brief chat with the other girls already waiting there and within 5 minutes the plane had landed and they were opening the gate for passengers coming off. Standing there already nervous and shaking because I could NOT believe he was about to be here and that he was literally only seconds away, the excitement was building, that's to say the least. Then... I saw his face and just lost it, I couldn't help but cry I was so emotional. (For some this may sound crazy and a little obsessed but that's ok because it probably is, but he means a lot more than people realise and I think we can all relate to that in some way) So there I am standing there TRYING and FAILING to compose myself as will made his way through the other few girls there before finally getting to me and the first thing he says (which is usually the same thing he says to me every time I see him haha) "why are you crying?" And all I could say was "I haven't seen you in like a year and a half, I missed you" and I gave him a huge hug. I have to say, whenever I hug him something just makes me feel completely peaceful, I can't explain it, other than that the world seems to be quiet and still and nothing seems wrong it all just seems to feel ok. Normally that would have reminded me to stay strong and keep going but this time it only reminded me of the main reason I was there, to say 1 thing to him that I had been wanting to tell him for a while now. After he hugged me he immediately asked "how are you?" and this time I didn't say "I'm not bad" or "I'm ok" or "could be better", I finally said "I'm good, I'm actually happy" See for the past few years struggling with depression and anxiety will became somewhat of a comfort for me and sometimes I would message him and vent because even if he didn't reply it just felt like he was there for me especially when it felt like no one else was. Sometimes he would reply and tell me it would be OK and that I just had to work on it and work hard and that just showed me how much he really cared. But the past 6 months I've really been growing and I've finally gotten to a good place in my life, that's all I wanted to tell him was that after everything id been through, I held on like he said and it did get better and I'm ok now. He said he was glad to hear it and he was proud of me. That's all I needed, it's all I've ever needed from anyone and coming from him? Well that meant more than anything in the world! He also asked if I was going to the show and my response was funny because I just said "dude! it's your first sold out solo show... You think I would miss it?" And we both laughed! Then After hanging with him for 10 minutes and walking to baggage with him and the few other girls we got a couple more photos and I gave him one last hug and then he had to leave (although me and Rhiannon did pass him again outside the terminal but we decided to keep walking as we knew he was busy). OH WAIT... DID I MENTION, I got to meet some of his crew including max AND TOM JORDAN!!!!! Let's just say I've been a fan of toms almost as long as will so that was super exciting for me (apparently only me haha). We also randomly bumped in to marni from Geordie shore which was cool. Now flash forward an hour or so, me and Rhiannon got back to the city and decided to firstly FIND the venue to ensure we knew where to go right away. Once we found it and saw there was no line, a lady came out to see if we needed help and ended up telling us that most people would come at about 7:30 (doors opened at 8) so we decided to come at about 7 just to be safe. She also said if we have any troubles just to mention her name and she would help us out. So at about 6:50 we started walking back to the venue and got there just on 7 and no one was there so we just waited at the door and we got to listen to will do soundcheck, he sounded so good it was fun standing there listening in. Within 5 minutes two girls started walking down and they were chilling with us and we started talking, we made friends with them to, they were super nice, they're names were Sarsha and Taylor. We not only were in line together we stood together inside and were dancing and having fun. The beauty of music is that it can bring people together. So after waiting an hour the doors finally opened and we went inside, I did say on more than one occasion that I would be "front and centre" and that's EXACTLY where I was, in fact I was the very first person in line and first to the stage. There was absolutely no where else I was going to be for this show. I mean hello? It's me here! Haha. We waited close to 2 hours for him to come on, the first hour was waiting around for people to get in and we just listened to the over head music (which no offence amps, it sucked!) then the DJ came out and started throwing out some old school 90s and a bit of new school and everyone was just getting so pumped up, after about 45 minutes of that he left and after another 10 minutes Tom jordan stepped on stage and had a quick chat before introducing will to the stage and then that was it the whole venue was screaming for him. I have to say I heard the screams loud and clear until he started singing and then it was like I didn't hear anything else but his voice for a few moments. His set list was insane, about 5 originals and and 18 covers including hotline bling as his encore. Everyone was just singing along and dancing, the energy was through the roof, the vibe was good and it was nothing but love! We spent hours dancing and singing with people who were all there for one reason, to watch the incredible talent that is William singe. In the most unbiased opinion I can give (because let's face it I was only ever going to rave about it anyway), the only thing I can say that I was even remotely unhappy with was the fact we had to wait basically 3 hours to see him (which of course was well worth it) and the fact that it had to end eventually. I was a little sad due to the big wait and countdown only for the day as a whole to be over before I could blink. It went by way to fast. Other than the fact I was anxious to see him and sad he had to wrap it up eventually, the entire day in itself was the most amazing day and I could not be more proud of him. The fact he had hundreds of people singing along to original songs that he hasn't even released yet, shows just how hard he's worked to get where he is. The collective days may be over but this is just the tip of the iceberg for the incredible artist that is will singe and I'm excited to see just how far he goes. William I'm so proud of you and you're only going up, I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. "Determination and passion is what makes a dream become reality and that's just what he has done." |
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October 2017
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